Mans Eaten 23,000 Big Macs Since 1972

FOND DU LAC, Wis.—A 54-year-old man says his obsessive-compulsive disorder drove him to eat 23,000 Big Macs in 36 years. Fifty-four-year-old Don Gorske says he hit the milestone last month, continuing a pleasurable obsession that began May 17, 1972 when he got his first car.

The only day he skipped a Big Mac was the day his mother died, to respect her request.

-Boston Globe

This story reminds me of the Adam Sandler Fatty Mcgee skit. "Ohhh Fatty, your so fat." This woman's dying wish is that her son doesn't Big Mac for one day!? How to dream big lady. She doesn't go for anything longer than that? Don't eat a Big Mac for the rest of the month...rest of the year...or how about dropping them from the "diet" altogether? "I just can't quit you Big Mac." I want too see this guy on Intervention as soon as possible.

God, Hurt

My equilbrium was shook to death when Bernard Pollard viciously attacked Brady's knee this past Sunday. I felt like an Etch-a-Sketch in Muhammad Ali's hands. I grew woozy when Brady hobbled off and the minutes creeped by, closing the window of hope. Sammy Morris was getting touch after touch, so I decided Maroney must be making the ultimate sacrifice and force feeding his adrenal gland to Brady in the locker room. This was the Patriots dynasty here, hanging in the balance. It's important to note that Brady is truly the next step in the evolutionary chart. I was under the impression that he can't be touched by mere mortals. At the very least, Brady was going to be coming down that tunnel eating a human arm, waving to the fans with it. I waited and waited but he remained absent. It was like when The Little Rascals prized go-cart "The Blur" was stolen by local neighborhood bullies Butch and Woim. The soap box derby race or "Superbowl" seemed to be all but over. Bernard Pollard stole our Blur. Anyone that knows anything knows that those little rascals built a rag-tag replacement, and even though it wasn't as pretty as it was before, they beat those bullies anyway. If there's one person that can build a Blur 2 in Matt Cassel and win this race it's Bill Belichick. It's just not going to be as smooth of a ride.